


Insomniashe

by mathes0n



Category: Thrilling Intent (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Title: thog feels like 2 whole genuine emotions and panics, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, M/M, also the markus x kyr is only implied rip in peace, mentions of child abuse, nothing too graphic tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 20:05:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9920216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mathes0n/pseuds/mathes0n
Summary: Ashe isn't getting enough sleep, so Markus concocts a brilliant plan that only Thog can carry out.It goes exactly as well as you'd expect.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think I finished a single fanfiction in my entire life
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!!
> 
> (A very very special thanks to [churchie](https://honeyeggs.tumblr.com/) for betaing and editing this; it was a HUGE help!!!)

Markus had never seen Thog look so baffled, which was really saying something, considering the endless lifetime of bullshit he’s undoubtedly been through.

After the initial shock wore off, Thog pinched the bridge of his nose--a common practice, when Markus was involved. “You want me to _what_?”

“Thog, listen, I know it’s a strange request. Trust me, I _know_. But!” Markus stuck out his hands theatrically. “It’s really important!”

“It’s _stupid_.”

“I don’t think it’s stupid!” Kyr spoke up unhelpfully from behind the bar. Markus gestured toward him with a winning smile, as if it proved something.

“Well, I’m not doing it.” Thog turned to leave, but immediately felt a hand grip his shoulder. Seeing that it was Markus who stopped him, Thog looked him dead in the eye and glared. To his mild surprise, Markus’ expression had turned into one of sincerity.

“Thog, you know I wouldn’t be asking if this wasn’t important.” Markus maintained eye contact with Thog for all of five seconds, before looking away nervously and biting at his lip. “I’m… I’m really worried about her.”

Thog’s expression softened (‘softened’ meaning his glare shifted into a simple sneer). It seemed like every other day, they were all stressing over Ashe’s mental health, and for good reason. Even Thog caught himself worried for her more often than he’d ever admit out loud, but… _fuck_! She was just so bad at taking care of herself! And no matter how much he fretted (as her _boss_ , he always reminded himself), she would always smile and try to carry everyone else’s burdens for them!

Stupid Ashe. Stupid, selfless Ashe.

Noting Thog’s silence, Markus shook his shoulder and offered a small smile. “So...can you? For Ashe’s sake?”

“I don’t see why _you_ can’t do it,” Thog shot back immediately.

As if expecting such a rebuttal, Markus flipped his hair with one hand (jackass) and sighed dramatically, “Thog, have you _ever_ carried me?”

“No, and I never will.”

“If _I_ pretended to fall asleep on Ashe, she could _easily_ push me away!” Markus spoke as though Thog hadn’t said anything. “I don’t have the body weight to pull it off! And before you ask, neither does Gregor.”

“Ashe has strong arms,” Gregor stated, nodding sagely as he swept the wooden bar floors.

“And what about the big guy?” Thog tilted his head towards Kyr, who sat up straighter upon being acknowledged.

Markus shook his head immediately. “Kyr is a _horrible_ liar! I don’t think he’s capable, even if he tried!” He paused a moment. “...No offence, buddy.”

Kyr shot him a thumbs up and a wide grin.

“And there’s no one else?” If they didn’t know Thog any better, they might’ve suspected that he was starting to sound desperate. “What about… I dunno, one of those spirit guys? The pigbat? That fucking death god she loves so much?!”

“Oh, come on, Thog,” Markus said, rolling his eyes. “Why are you so against helping out a friend? Are you scared?”

That question took Thog by surprise for a moment. Of course he wasn’t _scared_. He just didn’t want to take part in this stupid plan of Markus’. He didn’t want Ashe to punch him in the gut when this plan inevitably took a turn for the worse. He didn’t need Ashe to push him away, disgusted by the idea of being close to him.

And most of all, he did _not_ need these thoughts in his head in the first place.

Snapping Thog out of his thoughts, Markus offered a cheeky grin. “If you do it, you can take it off my paycheck.”

When Thog let out a heavy sigh, Markus knew he’d won.

“You _owe_ me for this,” Thog muttered before Markus had a chance to say anything. Then, Thog turned to leave.

Gregor spoke up as Thog opened the door. “Just so you know, she’s in the-”

“I know,” Thog said, and slammed the door behind him.

The plan was simple. So simple that it was stupid. ‘And so stupid that it could work!’ Markus had said. And, shit, maybe he was right about this one. But Thog knew better; nothing was simple with these bozos.

Especially not Markus’ plans.

 _Especially_ not Ashe.

Thog’s mission was as follows; sit next to Ashe, and when she least suspects it, just… put his head on her shoulder or something. Feign sleep so she wouldn’t move. Keep her still, at least until she could _finally_ relax and get some damn sleep. Assuming she didn’t immediately push Thog off of her and storm away, it wasn’t the worst of plans. At the very least, Markus’ heart had been in the right place when he thought it up.

Even Thog, convinced that he didn’t care about his employees well being, could tell that Ashe hadn’t been sleeping much recently (or… sleeping less than normal, which wasn’t a lot to begin with). She was busy all day, and when Thog woke from his restless dreams, he could still hear her scampering about, doing her own thing in the dead of night. It was impossible to confront her about it, because she shrugged it off so carelessly.

“I don’t need that much sleep,” she’d always say, as if no one was noticing the deepening hues underneath her eyes.

It was such bullshit.

A few hours ago, Ashe had announced that she was going to read in the woods for a bit (Thog had pretended that he wasn’t listening; he was). From anyone else, Thog would expect that to mean that they were sleeping somewhere far from the rowdy bar, but with Ashe, he knew better. Not only did she rarely sleep, but she was a shit liar, too. Honestly, it was a miracle that she lasted in Alaran as long as she did.

True to her word, Thog found Ashe sitting against a tree after a brief five minutes of looking. Far away enough to be alone, but close enough to hear any emergencies. One leg over the other, she looked completely entranced in whatever she was reading. She hadn’t even noticed Thog’s presence.

After briefly considering turning around and forgetting this stupid ass plan, Thog sighed, swallowed his nerves, and knocked his knuckles against a nearby tree a couple of times to get Ashe’s attention.

She looked up with a start, blinking at Thog a couple of times. She lowered the book to her lap, “Oh, hey, Thog. Is...everything alright?”

Thog then realized that he hadn’t prepared _anything_ for this plan. _This fucking idiot plan_ . Luckily, Ashe didn’t notice his hesitation as he cleared his throat, racking his mind for a good excuse that didn’t sound fucking _weird_.

“... the bar’s a madhouse,” Thog settled on with a shrug. “I needed some fresh air. Air that isn’t dilated with whatever the hell Kyr’s putting together now.”

Ashe raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Should I be worried?”

“I’m not.” Thog gestured to the clearing the Ashe was settled in. “Do you mind if I…?”

It took her a couple of moments to pick up on what he was implying. “...Oh! By all means, there’s enough grass here for the both of us.” She made herself comfortable against her tree once more, holding up her book. “I’m just going to be reading, so hopefully, I won’t be a bother.”

 _You’re never a bother_ was on the tip of Thog’s tongue, but he kept his mouth firmly shut. Instead, he shrugged again, and inspected the clearing.

It wasn’t large by any means, but there were plenty of places to sit. If he wanted to pull of this plan, he needed to be sitting right next to her, but that would _definitely_ be weird if he did that unprompted.

He had to be smart about this.

Thog opted for sitting against a tree that sat only a few feet away from her. Ashe didn’t seem to mind, once again engrossed in her book. Thog looked around the clearing, unsure of where to go on from here. _Yeah, great fuckin’ plan, Markus._

His eyes glanced to the sky, and he frowned. It was still daytime, but the sun would be setting fairly soon. Once it gets dark, Ashe would likely move on from reading her book and go on to do something else (except _sleep_ ). Thog couldn’t just follow her around all night, waiting for the perfect opportunity to pull this off. Ashe could be dense, but she wasn’t _dumb_.

He had to do this sooner than later.

 _Fuck_.

Thog’s eyes eventually landed on the book Ashe was reading, and he instinctively let out a snort.

“Ballast Mcgee? _Really_?”

Ashe looked up at once, shooting him a wry smile. “What? It’s mindless entertainment.”

“I have half the mind to get up and tell Markus.”

“Oh, he knows. He’s still in the denial stage.” There was a hint of smugness to her voice, and Thog couldn’t help but smile, if just a little bit.

“Guess that leaves just me to judge you, huh?”

“Yeah, sure, okay, _Dan_.”

“Fuck you, Ashe.”

She chuckled softly, before turning her attention back to her book. Comfortable silence fell between the two.

For just a moment (or maybe more), Thog had forgotten what he had set out to do in the first place. Despite their differing opinions and constant need to argue, Ashe was surprisingly easy to talk to. Maybe they hadn’t started off on the right foot, nor were the steps to their friendship always steady, but… it was something that Thog would admit to appreciating.

In the middle of his contemplative silence, his gaze fell to the sky. The sun was dropping. He had limited time to work with.

Stifling a sigh, he scooted a foot closer to Ashe, earning him a confused look.

“Everything okay, Thog?”

“Didn’t you read that one before?” Thog narrowed his eyes at the book cover. He had a distinct memory of of Ashe waving the book around, complaining to a half-interested Inien about the lack of a conclusive ending (“It’s just… such a cop out, isn’t it? To retcon the entire story, just so that everyone can be happy, but ignoring the traumas they had gone through? I expected more from this.”)

Thog had been sweeping the bar at the time, pretending that he wasn’t listening. He was.

Ashe looked baffled for a moment, looking between Thog and the book, before she shook herself and stared down at the pages, “I’m… surprised you remember, Thog. And, yeah, I have.”

“So… why read it again? What’s the point?”

Ashe shrugged, “It’s a good distraction.”

“Distraction. From _what_?” Thog knew that there was no point in asking. He knew Ashe well enough to know that she was going to give some shitty vague answer, since the real answer probably was probably like ‘my brain’s fucked and I read stupid things to ignore it’.

Ashe paused for a moment, thinking. “A distraction from… things, I guess. Just… things.”

 _How fucking predictable_.

Before Ashe had a chance to turn back to the book again, Thog scooted even closer. “That’s the book with those shitty illustrations, right? With the shirtless sailor?” _Just a little bit closer_ …

Ashe did a strange scoff-laugh before considering Thog with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t think I’ve seen you so talkative before, Thog. What’s the catch?”

Thog froze suddenly; there was a strange uncomfortable lurch in his stomach at that moment, something that he found impossible to put into words. It made him want to crawl away -- better yet, get up and run as far from here as possible, and hide in the nearest hole he could find. _Stupid plan. Stupid fucking plan. She hates me? Fuck this plan. Fuck Markus. Fuck!_  

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” The question came out more like a snarl than he had intended.

“No, it’s - I mean, it’s not a _bad_ thing!” She swiftly folded a corner of her page and placed the book to the side, giving Thog her undivided attention. Her eyes were so wide that _Thog_ almost felt guilty, if anyone would believe it. “It’s just… I’m just… a little surprised is all. You don’t… you know…”

Thog wordlessly raised an eyebrow. The ‘No, I _don’t_ know, Ashe’ was implied in his expression.

She ran her hands through her hair -- a classic ‘Ashe’s anxiety’ trademark. “It’s just… you always want something. You… you never really _talk_ to me unless… unless there’s something you can get from it.” She glanced at Thog for just a moment, but quickly averted her gaze to the grassy patch in front of her. “There’s… it seems like there’s always an ulterior motive with you, Thog. You aren’t really one to just... _talk_.”

That statement hung in the air for a moment or two.

There was something very familiar about Ashe in this moment, Thog mentally noted. Nervous, unsure, and above all else; naive.

He still had crisp memories of the scrappy islander girl who had been away from home for only about a month. It was painfully obvious that Free wasn’t her first language, and watching her stumble around Alaranni was laughable. She was desperate for a job, and Thog was desperate to con more helpless saps into working at Meadshire to appease his bosses, and the rest was history.

(In hindsight, Thog was the real helpless sap here; nothing could’ve warned him that the wide-eyed foreigner with leaves in her hair would turn out to be the most confident, loyal, ruthless, and simply _unfathomable_ woman that sat before him now.)

He remembered Ashe’s early days working at Meadshire. How her innocent ice-breakers kept offending the adventurers she tried to befriend. How she was forced to learn, first hand, how the Alaranni functioned, and she very quickly had to force herself to adapt. If Thog had a heart, it would’ve broken over how her naivete was treated like a crime. Even to this day, Ashe could say (what she assumed was) the most innocent thing, and people will _still_ jump down her throat for it. She was a blunt person, and Thog suspected that she couldn’t help it.

And her nervous, unsure attitude was in full view… well, mostly. Her face was mostly turned away from Thog, but her body language alone was enough to make Thog feel _bad_.

Ashe broke the silence before he could do anything.

“I, uh… I’m sorry.” She turned towards him and _holy shit_ , Markus must’ve been teaching her his secret puppy dog eye technique (or she was doing it naturally, which is equally _bullshit_ and _unfair_ to Thog’s nonexistent heart). “Was that… rude?”

To her surprise (and Thog’s), he let out a low chuckle. A crooked smile was plastered to his face as he shook his head.

“If it came from anyone but you, Ashe? I might’ve been offended. But I know you well enough to know that if you wanted to insult me, you’d bring something better to the table.”

Ashe looked visibly relieved, and Thog was glad. She _did_ have a point; he _was_ here for an ulterior motive, and that was to get her to sleep (which, thinking back, was a shitty idea on Markus’ part, because Thog had an uncanny ability to rile Ashe up at any given moment; how was he supposed to get her relaxed enough to sleep?). Thog wondered for a brief moment if he would’ve visited Ashe if not for Markus’ plan.

 _No, probably not_ was the conclusion Thog reached, and for some reason, that gave him a shock of self-deprecation that he hadn’t felt since he was fifteen… or since ‘Wizard High School’.

But Thog buried those thoughts deep for the time being. _As for the plan_ …

Now, he was in front of the same tree that Ashe was leaning against, only a foot distance between them. Just barely close enough. For the first time, Thog felt like this plan just might work.

If Ashe noticed their newfound closeness, she didn’t mention it. Instead, she reached for her book and said, “Well, to answer your earlier question, this _is_ the book with the shirtless sailor illustrations.” She flipped through the pages, and once she found what she was looking for, she scooted closer to show Thog. _The perfect distance_.

Thog regarded the illustration, trying to ignore the pounding in his heart because _wow he actually was about to go through with this plan (this STUPID plan)_. It was a poor representation of a shirtless man (and Thog would know). If Markus described him correctly, then Ballast Mcgee drew this himself.

“Wow,” he caught himself saying, his eyes void of any emotion. “Hot.”

That earned a shove and a laugh from Ashe, and Thog couldn’t help but feel a little proud of himself.

Ashe regained her composure, and flipped back to the page that she was reading. She gave Thog a small smile. “I, um… I should be finished reading this pretty soon. After that, do you wanna… talk… maybe?”

That surprised him (something that Ashe had a natural knack for doing to him). The request was so simple, so innocent, that Thog couldn’t even find it in himself to whip out a sarcastic comment. He gave an affirming nod, and Ashe turned back to her book with a wide, pleased smile.

Comfortable silence fell between them. Around the pair, all that could be heard was the faint chirping of birds, the buzzing of insects, the occasional distant _crash_ in the direction of the bar (Thog decided he’d worry about it later), and every once in awhile, the sound of Ashe turning the page.

It was peaceful everywhere except in Thog’s headspace, which was screaming. _Loudly_.

He was really about to do this. _I’m about to do this_ . Of all of the disgusting romance tropes, this was one of the _worst_ (it was probably in Ashe’s shitty book, how bad it was) and Thog was really going to do this. It was for her own good, _sure_ , but it didn’t help calm the nerves that were steadily increasing in his gut.

Thog recalled Markus’ words from earlier. _Are you scared_?

The answer was, apparently, fucking _yeah_ he was.

He just didn’t know what he was so scared _of_.

As time dragged on, he started to make an act out of rubbing his eyes, or bringing up his fist to stifle his yawns. He was determined to keep his eyes off of Ashe, though he could’ve _sworn_ that she was sneaking glances at him.

“Are you tired, Thog?” She asked suddenly, giving Thog a start. He was mid-eye rub when she asked. He quickly brought his fist to the ground.

“Nope.”

“You should head back and get some sleep,” Ashe said in that _mother hen_ voice of hers. Her eyebrows were furrowed with a look of determination that told Thog that she’d carry him back to the bar if she thought he needed the sleep.

“Ashe, trust me, I’m _fine_.” He stuck out his hands, trying to emphasize his point. “This is just the first time I’ve been able to relax for awhile. If I wanted to sleep, don’t you think I’d be doing that right now? I’m not some stupid kid.”

She bit her lip, still looking unsure, but seemed to pick up on the fact that she wasn’t winning this one. “...alright, just… don’t hesitate to leave if you need to.”

“I never have.” He shrugged and turned his attention back to the sky. It was starting to turn pink, and he almost snarled. Sunset. _Shit_. He had to hurry this along.

He let the silence continue a little bit longer. Ashe continued to steal looks (he caught her staring once, he had never seen her jump so high when she quickly turned away and looked back at her book), but when she seemed to be focused, he knew it was his time to strike.

First, he blinked slowly a couple of times to give the illusion of exhaustion. If Ashe noticed, then she made no indication of it.

Next, he stretched slightly, yawning as he did. His leg brushed up against Ashe’s, and it took everything within him to not gasp aloud. It was getting _very_ hard to pretend to be tired when all of his nerves were on end.

He checked one more time to make sure that Ashe wasn’t looking, and fortunately (or unfortunately), she wasn’t. She looked more focused on her book than she did before.

Thog gulped. _Now or never_.

He swayed ever so slightly, like the wind was pushing him around.

Then, he struck.

Due to a miscalculation on Thog’s part, the side of his temple hit Ashe’s bony shoulder _hard_. He had to bite his tongue to keep from yelping in pain.

Ashe, on the other hand, let out a loud noise that sounded like a gasp and a squeak (for a brief moment, Thog worried that he hurt her; however, he had heard Ashe in pain enough to know that this wasn’t anything serious). At the same time, he could hear the sound of her book hitting the grass. Thog almost wanted to smile; he could only _imagine_ what Ashe’s expression was right now.

Probably shock.

Or disgust.

Most likely a little of both.

“Thog!” Her voice was little more than a high pitched whisper. Thog was struggling to keep his eyes closed and his body relaxed. “ _Thog_! … Thog?”

Thog was unsure if his heart was beating too fast, or not beating at all. It was borderline _unbearable_ waiting for Ashe to react. He braced himself, ready for her to shove him off. Or electrocute him. Both seemed equally likely.

But, she did neither. He could feel the tension leave her shoulder as she let out a soft sigh. In a quieter voice than before, she said, “What am I going to _do_ with you, Thog...” He could hear her rolling her eyes.

It was quiet once more, the sound of pages turning resuming. And Thog’s mind was _combusting_.

Something that Markus had _failed_ to elaborate for his plan (something that Thog really should’ve picked up on sooner) was the _prolonged physical contact_ . Thog wasn’t a touchy person by any means, to the surprise of no one. Other than a few hugs before life-or-death situations, and those few times where Ashe had to patch him up, he never made an attempt to engage in physical contact with his… friends? Which was a bit of a miracle, considering how much this group loved their group hugs. Not to mention Markus and Kyr, who seemed fucking _obsessed_ with cuddling with anyone, anywhere. It was disgusting.

Leaning against Ashe now, Thog was just realizing just how out of his element he felt touching other people. Ashe’s bare shoulder was warm against his cheek, which made him wonder if the same applied to Ashe in general. He’d only hugged Ashe once, but it was brief, in the midst of battle, so he couldn’t remember if it was _this_ _warm_ or not.

Her hair was also brushing against his nose, which was torture for multiple reasons;

  1. Her hair looked _kinda_ fluffy, but feeling it against his face made Thog realize just how insanely _soft_ it was. It was driving him nuts.


  1. He didn’t know whatshe used to wash her hair, but up against his face, it was _intoxicating_. It smelled of parchment and wood and campfire, a scent that was so undoubtedly _Ashe_.


  1. It was tickling his nose, and he had to sneeze.



No, this plan was definitely more trouble than it was worth, but it was too late to back out now. If he just stood up and left, he didn’t think he’d be able to look Ashe in the eye ever again.

Knowing that Ashe couldn’t see his expression, he frowned deeply.

Time dragged on. Slowly and painfully, as time was known to do. The simple noise of the turning of pages seemed to get louder and louder, making Thog dread the sound. In those few instances where he peeked at the sky, it looked the same as before. Briefly, Thog wondered if he was stuck in some sort of eternal time loop; his own personal hell for all of the crimes he’d committed on this Earth. Forever tormented by the warm wind and Ashe’s soft skin against his face.

Thog almost wished that he could fall asleep right here, just to avoid the whirlwind that his state of mind was in. However, every bit of his body felt on _fire_. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop himself from gritting his teeth, tensing his muscles, or tightening his fists. What made it worse was his heart, which was beating uncomfortably in his throat.

It made him feel nauseous.

Thog wanted to groan. _This_ is _hell_.

When Ashe spoke, it took every cell in Thog’s body to keep him from reacting.

“The end,” she said quietly. He could hear her closing the book and placing it to her side. “... and you’re still passed out, huh.” Thog could just barely feel her neck twist, but he knew that she was looking down at him. He could only pray that he looked convincing.

Silence followed, and Ashe let out a long sigh. It didn’t sound like frustrated, or annoyed, or disappointed (as Ashe’s sighs tended to be), but something else entirely. Thog couldn’t put his finger on it.

“I wonder… should I carry you back to the bar? I’ve never carried you, I wonder if I can…” she mused, and Thog thought he was going to scream. Being carried back would be an absolute _nightmare_ . For _one_ thing, that’d make this entire _stupid_ plan pointless, meaning that Thog just wasted his afternoon. Secondly, everyone who saw would give him _endless shit_ for it, and Thog felt comfortable adding Ashe to that list (“haha, remember when I had to carry you to your bed like a baby?” she’d joke a month later, and they’d bicker about it for minutes on end). And lastly, the very idea of Ashe easily carrying him in her thin but _strong_ arms made his traitor of a subconscious (that hadn’t stopped thinking about _buff Ashe_ for, what, a year now?) go _haywire_.

Thog could feel Ashe shake her head softly, and his soul practically collapsed in on itself in relief.

“No, no, wouldn’t want to wake you…” She sounded deep in thought, and if Thog weren’t pretending to be asleep (and actually gave a shit), he’d ask her what was up. Before Thog could contemplate on it, Ashe continued.

“Still… there’s got to be a way to make this more comfortable. This _can’t_ be good for your neck.” Ashe did have a point; Thog’s neck had been cramped from the moment his head went down. However, he simply paid it no mind. He’d slept in far less comfortable places, and on far less comfortable people. When life was a never-ending shithole of hurt, one learned to tolerate a little bit of neck pain.

Ashe hummed in consideration for a few long moments. After what felt like hours, she murmured, “Alright… don’t wake up, I’ve got an idea.”

Thog knew that she wasn’t talking directly to him, but still, his eyebrow raised instinctively.

With his eyes closed, Thog couldn’t quite tell what Ashe was doing, but he could definitely feel movement. He struggled to keep his body limp as Ashe wriggled beside him, turning them both in an attempt to put them in a more comfortable position. It took everything in Thog to not snap his eyes open and demand to know just _what_ the _fuck_ she was trying to do.

He was compliant, though. He trusted Ashe.

After several more minutes of Ashe readjusting the both of them, she finally settled down with a huff. “There. Much better.”

Since his eyes were closed the entire time, it took Thog a moment or two to realize their current position. For starters, his chin was comfortably rested on Ashe’s shoulder, meaning that her hair was now enveloping most of his face. Thog didn’t realize that he was holding his breath until his lungs burned, and once he was breathing again, he was quickly overwhelmed with that familiar parchment smell. Her legs were on either side of him, allowing him to lay on top of her and, more or less, use her as a bed while she still leaned against the tree. To top it off, her arms were loosely wrapped around his shoulders, hands rested against his back.

Thog was sure that this was literally the worst day of his life.

Silence didn’t last too long with Ashe, so it seemed. With nowhere to go and nothing to do, she gently drummed her fingers against the small of his back, sending chills up and down Thog’s spine as she did. Then, she began to hum.

It wasn’t a song that Thog recognized; Alarani music had a very distinct sound to it, something that they had bonded over hating. Thog listened closely, wondering if it was some sort of Meathean lullabye or something (Thog’s passion for the arts was something that he had long since repressed, but sometimes, it emerged in little doses). However, as Ashe continued, drumming her fingers to the tune, Thog deduced that she had to be making it up on the spot. He wondered if this was a tune she’d remember. He wondered if she would try and turn it into a song.

(He wondered if she’d want any help.)

This continued on for some time. Since Ashe was unable to see his face, Thog felt comfortable with keeping his eyes open. All he could see was the tree behind Ashe, and a small patch of sky. It was definitely sunset by now; the clear sky was decidedly pink and red and all sorts of hues of orange. He wondered if Ashe would tire of her humming before the sun went down, finally falling asleep and giving Thog a chance to leave.

Her humming never dropped in tempo, and her drumming fingers were as upbeat as ever, so Thog wasn’t feeling especially optimistic.

Eventually, though, the humming did come to an end. Ashe’s hands went from drumming to brushing her fingers against his back. It made Thog want to shiver. Before he could contemplate on what she was doing, she spoke.

“You’re tense even when you’re sleeping, huh?” Ashe chuckled, though these didn’t seem to be any sort of humor behind it. “Have you ever actually relaxed in your entire life, Thog?”

 _No_ was the short answer. The long answer was _Do you talk to yourself, like, all the time?_

Since she wasn’t expecting an answer, Ashe left short moments of silence between her words. She sighed, continuing to drag her fingers across Thog’s back. It was getting harder and harder to pretend that it wasn’t bothering him.

“Maybe… maybe I can talk you into a massage,” Ashe suggested, and Thog’s eye twitched. _Under no circumstances_. “Or some kind of spa day?... are there any nearby spas? Hmm…” Her voice drawled in contemplation. “... Markus should know a place…”

While she spoke, her hand was unconsciously sliding upwards, and Thog was hyperaware of every movement. Her fingers tapped against the back of his neck, and before Thog had time to brace himself, he felt her fingers brush through his hair.

Every inch of his body felt like it was being electrocuted, causing him to jolt at the sensation. However, thanks to fate or luck or some other inhuman force, Ashe jumped in surprise at the same time, unaware of Thog’s movement.

“Gods, Thog!” She said, maybe a bit too loudly. Though shocked, she seemed to realize her volume, and continued much quieter. “Your hair is _soft_!”

Thog had to bite down on his tongue _hard_ to keep all remarks to himself. He had to bite down harder when Ashe began, for lack of a better word, _playing_ with the ends of his hair. Ashe continued verbally digging her grave deeper.

“I always… assumed it felt like a rock. Like you used all sorts of hair gunk in it.” As she spoke, she grew more confident, brushing her fingers further up Thog’s scalp. “Whenever I thought about running my hands through your hair, I didn’t think it’d be this… nice.”

And then she started humming again.

Thog was unaware of how much time was passing; every coherent thought was interrupted with the soft tugs Ashe gave his hair, or the feeling of her icy fingertips against his scalp. Her hands, once again, were moving to the rhythm of her inconsistent humming. Thog would try to contemplate how he was going to get back at her for this, or _what did she_ mean _‘whenever I thought about running my hands through your hair_ ’, but before his thoughts could materialize, he’d lose himself to the touch.

Admittedly, it felt incredibly nice.

Ashe seemed to notice how content he was.

“You’re not tense anymore,” she remarked after some time. Thog was surprised to realize that she was right; whereas he’d been stiff earlier, he had turned into liquid at Ashe’s touch. The thought alone made Thog grit his teeth in frustration. Moments later, they instinctively unclenched when Ashe ran her hand against his neck.

Ashe continued, “That’s nice to know, then. That this calms you down. Maybe I can talk you into letting me do this more often.” No. “Heh, maybe we can do this every night?” _No_. “Heh… yeah, I doubt it. You’re probably going to kill me when you wake up to your hair looking like… this.”

Only at this moment did Thog realize that Ashe had probably (absolutely) messed up his hair. _Oh, there are going to be_ words _about this_.

Ashe’s hands finally ( _finally_ ) left his hair. They lowered to his neck, and rested there. Thog felt Ashe’s head fall against his hair. Thog scowled, trying to guess when the last time Ashe washed her face was, and just how much of that mess was getting onto him.

Ashe, never the silent one, didn’t give him time to think further.

“I wish…” She sighed. “I just wish there was _something_ I could do for you. Some way to… I don’t wanna say _fix_ you, but … _help_. I guess.”

Thog had absolutely no fucking idea what she was going on about. Then, she elaborated.

“I… you’d _hate_ me if you knew I knew, I’m sure.” Her chuckle was humorless. “That I… gods, Thog, I _hear_ you. In the middle of the night, when no one else should be awake… you just wake up, panting like something was about to get you. It’s… it’s horrible. And I wish I knew what I could _do_ or… or what I should _say_ … whatever it would take.”

Ashe let out a deep sigh. She didn’t notice, but Thog had gone completely ridgid.

Night terrors were no stranger to Thog. It was one of the fun advantages to growing up in such a shitty environment; he had to train himself to wake up at a moment's notice, to be ready to brace himself if mom drank too much that night, ready to grab his prepacked bag and run until his legs wouldn’t let him anymore. He was always on the run, always surrounded by people that he couldn’t sleep around because they’d rob him blind the first chance he got. All this before he was even an adult; it was no wonder that he rarely had a good night’s sleep. It was a part of his life that he had accepted, along with the trust issues and the inability to form genuine relationships. 

Things changed when he met these clowns, but old habits died hard. Especially when the shadows of his past haunted him to this day.

No, nothing could fix him. No matter how many people had his back, he’d still be like… _this_. Not even a million hair hair rubs could fix that.

But damn, bless Ashe for trying.

 _Ashe_ . Thog had never quite met someone like her in his escapades. Despite their initial mutual dislike, they had definitely found a kindred spirit in the other. At least, that’s how Thog felt. He certainly had his fair share of respect for everyone else in this ragtag team, but Ashe was… different. Despite confusing and complicated mental issues that baffled even her, Thog understood her the most. Hell, maybe it was _because_ of her confusing and complicated mental issues that Thog could relate to her so heavily. 

And yet Ashe was a good person, and Thog didn’t _get_ that. He had seen her at low points, and Thog knew that if he were in her shoes, he would’ve jumped ship. But no; in that regard, Ashe wasn’t like him at all. At the end of the day, she was only trying to help. Even if she had to be sneaky, or argumentative, or a pain in the ass, she would do what it took to do what she thought was right. Thog respected that… no, he _admired_ that. Thog could only wish that he had something like that worth fighting for.

Or _someone_.

Ashe, strangely quiet, slumped further against him. Thog repressed a sigh.

Thog was soft now. Before, it was just him and his gun and his contracts; that’s all he _needed_ . Now, he was the boss of a bunch of numbskulls that he’d kill and die for. Now, he was giving his prized watch to a girl he once hated, and he was doing favors for a tiefling that was supposed to be working for _him_. This group had more or less domesticated him, and the part of Thog that repressed the idea was overwhelmed by his urge to indulge himself in this shitty little found family that he had stumbled into.

A soft snore snapped Thog out of his thoughts.

It was dead silent for another moment. Then, another snore followed.

 _Holy shit_.

“... Ashe?” Thog spoke in little more than a whisper. “... Aesling, are you awake?” There was no response.

With as much caution as he was physically capable of, Thog pushed himself off of her to stand on his knees. Her arms easily slid off of him, and they fell to her side. Her head was lopsided against her shoulder, her mouth agape. Her snores were quiet, but filled the entire clearing with the noise.

“...his stupid plan worked.” Thog didn’t know what he was feeling right now. Frustration? Relief? A little chilly, now that he was facing the night air without Ashe’s warm embrace? Regardless, Thog really didn’t think that he was going to make it this far. He rubbed the back of his neck and…

...wait.

 _One_. “Ashe…” _Two_. “You did _not_ …” _Three_. “Did you fucking…” _Four_. “... _braid_ my hair while I was asleep?!”

Both of Thog’s hands flew to the back of his head. As it turned out, all of that damned tugging and pulling she was doing to his hair was this.

“Ashe, what the fuck?” Thog spoke quietly, but with a lot of emotion. “I don’t… I don’t have enough _hair_ for four braids. How in the _hell_ …”

Markus _definitely_ owed him now.

Now annoyed, Thog struggled to his feat. His entire body felt numb from lying still for what must’ve been hours. There was no sign of the sun in the sky now; only the stars and the moon. Thog rubbed at his cheek; it must be red by now, considering how long it was pressed against Ashe’s neck.

God, that was the stupidest thing that Thog had ever done.

He stepped to the middle of the clearing and stretched out his limbs in an attempt to regain feeling in them. There was absolutely _no_ way that he was going to be talked into this again. For starters, it’d be suspicious as hell if Thog kept falling asleep on Ashe right around sundown. For another thing, Thog could just tell that Ashe was going to give him endless shit for this the next day. ‘ _Haha, you fell asleep on me, you don’t know your own limits so you accidentally fell asleep on me and we cuddled a bunch_ ’. Besides, this whole thing was hell in a handbasket and nothing could convince him to go through this nightmare _ever_ again.

Thog turned towards the direction of the bar, ready for a nice cold drink and a night alone. He took one step before looking back at Ashe.

She looked comfy, Thog thought. The way she was leaning against that tree, she might get a nasty crick in her neck, but, hey, that wasn’t Thog’s problem, right? Even if she was annoyed about it the next day, that was her own damn fault. Besides, she was always sleeping in trees. It’s not like Thog cared if it started to rain, or if she got cold in that sleeveless outfit of hers.

Right?

Thog sighed.

Thog sighed again.

In one graceful motion, Thog scooped both of his arms under Ashe. She fell into them easily, and Thog lifted her up with ease. Her snoring hitched for just a second, but in a matter of seconds, she was perfectly situated in his arms. Thog immediately made way for the bar. He absolutely did not need Ashe waking up in his arms like this.

(He left the book behind. Markus also owed him for _that_.)

Halfway through the walk back to the bar, her face scrunched up. Thog froze, worried that he was walking too fast for her. She looked… oddly distressed.

“Ashe?” There was an odd sensation in Thog, like his stomach was dropping. “Please tell me you’re not having a nightmare. I literally can’t deal with that right now.”

Her response was to furrow her eyebrows further. Thog frowned; she wasn’t in _pain_ , was she?

Out of nowhere, her hand flew up. For a brief second, Thog was certain that she was going to smack him in the face. Before he even had time to flinch, though, her hand quickly landed on his chest. She formed a fist, gripping against the fabric of his shirt. Oddly enough, the action seemed to have calmed her down a little.

Thog couldn’t help but sigh. “What am I gonna do with you, Aesling…”

The remainder of the walk was uneventful, though Thog walked with a little more caution. Ashe’s expression seemed to relax as time passed, but her grip on Thog’s shirt didn’t let down for a second. There was an odd moment where Thog wondered if the texture of the shirt was a soothing one for her. _Maybe I can give her one of my spares if she needs_ …

Thog shook his head. It was a stupid thought.

The door to the bar was propped open, likely so that the summer breeze could come in. It made it easier for Thog to maneuver his way inside, only _almost_ slamming Ashe’s head against the doorframe.

Dare Thog say it, the inside of the bar looked… peaceful. A few customers lingered by the corner stools, talking amongst themselves. Inien returned from her day off, and was pulling a thin blanket over Gregor, who was curled up on one of the tables and looked too comfortable for his own good. Kyr sat at another table, conversing with Markus, who seemed comfortable sitting across his lap. They both went quiet when they saw Thog, and when they saw the sleeping Ashe in his arms, they shot him wide grins and thumbs up. Inien raised an eyebrow at the sight, but said nothing. Thog kept his eyes ahead of him, but he could’ve sworn that the moment he looked away, Inien was smirking.

Thog headed straight for his office. In the room that he had made for himself, he kept a crummy old mattress under his desk. It was nothing special, but it fit him just fine. His plan was just to drop Ashe off on that bed, go about his night in solitude, and… fall asleep in the grass or something. Simple as that.

Of course, with Ashe, shit was never simple.

Thog used his foot to open the door to his office (never locked, only because he knew that someone would break down the door if it was). It was a neat and orderly except for the desk, which was covered in paperwork that Thog was going to have to worry about later. Thankfully, he hadn’t pushed the mattress back under the desk from the night before. and the blanket was still crinkled up at it’s side. With only the moonlight shining through the windows, illuminating the room, Thog knelt down and gently placed Ashe onto the mattress. 

“...goodnight, Ashe,” Thog murmured, and attempted to stand up.

Except, he couldn’t.

Ashe was still tightly gripping at his shirt.

“...” Thog put a hand on Ashe’s wrist, and delicately tried to yank it off. “Come on. Let go.”

It was to no avail. Ashe’s grip was so tight, Thog could swear that her knuckles were turning white.

“I’ll just take my shirt off, if you’re not going to let go,” Thog threatened. “I’m serious. And I’ll cut down your paycheck. I’m not kidding.”

Unsurprisingly to Thog, there was no response. Instead of following through with his words and removing his shirt, he took a good look at the mattress. The mattress was was meant for just one person; one and a half, if you wanted to be generous. Even with Ashe and Thog being fairly slight people, it’d be a challenge for the two of them to share.

Thog closed his eyes and, once again, sighed deeply.

Sliding in beside Ashe was easier than it should’ve been, all things considered. Thog was worried that all this movement would wake her up, but she didn’t seem to care. She wasn’t even reacting to his legs entangling with hers, or his arm resting across her side. When Thog finally settled, his chin braced against Ashe’s head, he finally allowed himself to breathe.

The parchment smell that her hair gave off was familiar at this point, but still made his heart race in an odd, uncomfortable way.

Despite himself, Thog smiled.

“Don’t know what I’d do without you, Ashe.”

Thog pulled the blanket over the both of them. He yawned; the nauseating warmth between him and Ashe was making him drowsy. He made a mental note to try and wake up before Ashe did; with luck, she wouldn’t even realize what happened on this night. She’d wake up in Thog’s room, he’d tell her that he slept outside, she might feel bad about it for a minute or two, but their dynamic wouldn’t have to change. No harm, no foul .

They laid together, flushed against each other and seeming to fit perfectly into each other’s warm embrace. All was quiet except for the chatter of the bar’s residents, until that too went quiet. The bar fell into a much-needed state of quiet and calm, as if the calm summer day had infected them all with newfound positivity and light. Gregor was passed out on a bar table, dreaming of warm pastures and sunny days with friends at his side. Markus and Kyr fell asleep in each other’s arms; they rested soundly, preserving their energy for tomorrow’s discoveries and adventures. Inien slept with her hat pulled over her eyes, her sleeping subconscious already thinking of quips and snide remarks she was certainly going to make at Thog and Ashe when she woke. And finally, Thog, too, fell asleep.

At the sound of his snoring, a pair of glowing yellow eyes snapped open.

Ashe smiled.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you either, Thog.”

She buried her face into the crook of his neck. He smelled like that Alaranni cologne that makes her eyes water; a smell she’d pretend to hate until her dying breaths.

  
“Good night.”


End file.
